A very wise coach gave me this practice to work on in 2020:
Any time I feel the urge to advise or solve, ask someone to teach me something instead.
|I suspect this was aimed at "mansplainers",|
but I admit to doing this too.....How often are
YOUR questions aimed at validating
your own brilliant assumptions about
something or someone?
The first thing I noticed was that I typically ask inquiry questions that are closed (yes/no answer) and I then immediately follow this question by an educated guess of my own, here's an example:
"Did you enjoy your road trip to Utah over new years? I imagine it must have been very cold, but a nice chance to get away and spend time with your family?" -Why not just stop after the first question and let the person tell you how their trip was?
What kind of question is that anyways? Am I trying to guess? Am I attempting to read the person's mind? Is this about controlling the conversation or making it more efficient somehow by pre-answering for them?
I haven't been able to make this shift on a regular basis, but I'm building awareness of this habit that I want to change.
I recall a favorite expression about habits, "practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make new habits.
What are you working on in 2020 to improve communication and listening?