tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-540467491776974832024-03-05T21:46:13.482-08:00L.I.S.T.E.N...Listening for EverythingThis blog is dedicated to those of us who want to work on becoming better listeners. Please share your comments, feedback, ideas and best practices. Let's learn from and with each other. Thank you for being here! Tres Jiménez
Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-77756407260024439222021-06-17T10:57:00.002-07:002021-06-17T10:57:19.979-07:00Try not to interrupt anyone during your conversations today<p> From the Daily OM Newsletter today, 6/17/2021</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_hjSoVid_gPaWuKwxJxCx3wlLJGbyEIhwuVGnjCcWV2UA8pYvfd12HXdwfCPyYpp1JAVfv0lXx2zBBhXZEiWFkUJcW40q6GgbkAXK49Yfocgzvm5DK22a0p6qawf5ylhDsyRdHTc0XA/s726/Pensive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="528" data-original-width="726" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_hjSoVid_gPaWuKwxJxCx3wlLJGbyEIhwuVGnjCcWV2UA8pYvfd12HXdwfCPyYpp1JAVfv0lXx2zBBhXZEiWFkUJcW40q6GgbkAXK49Yfocgzvm5DK22a0p6qawf5ylhDsyRdHTc0XA/s320/Pensive.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17.5px;">Your tendency to question others during conversations could impact your interactions, and this may leave you feeling irritated. This could be due to your desire for control in your conversations. </span><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17.5px;">Perhaps you might consider reducing your impatience by spending the day listening to others. Try not to interrupt anyone during your conversations today. Take a few moments to listen to what people say and wait until they finish their sentences before you speak. This will help you slow your mind so that you truly hear what was said. </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17.5px;">You may find that without intense questioning people will provide you with the answers you need once you give them the space to speak.</span></p><p><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17.5px;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17.5px;"><br /></span></p>Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-71147098417425290122020-04-22T11:03:00.002-07:002020-04-22T11:03:15.969-07:00Seems like I've been doing nothing BUT listening...<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO-hOqZmaW4U1gF-nLVb1U3TPFRCuiKFE7iYFosvzCJK4VC6rmZVl_wWvRECYrpL83z2ROdggldn29brz_37-eNVbFXweCsNuix7lDxNGPpWTGjHi6YyoTG84ne-4gfh1k_3-xHb0qOQ/s1600/DJI_0873_der-719327.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6818584934727102594" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO-hOqZmaW4U1gF-nLVb1U3TPFRCuiKFE7iYFosvzCJK4VC6rmZVl_wWvRECYrpL83z2ROdggldn29brz_37-eNVbFXweCsNuix7lDxNGPpWTGjHi6YyoTG84ne-4gfh1k_3-xHb0qOQ/s320/DJI_0873_der-719327.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: small; text-align: start;">Listening to the crunch of the dried lakebed</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Carrizo Plains, CA</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small; text-align: start;"><i><div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="color: #999999;">photo J.Clark 2018</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;"><span>Listening seems like all I am doing these days</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">Listening to my own thoughts</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">Listening to my partner</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">Listening to the sleeping sounds of my aging dog</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">Listening to Webinars</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">Listening to the birds outside my window sing spring love songs</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">I realized that I have made a shift in my life</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">Instead of spending my energy entertaining others with my stories,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;">I'm learning to be entertained by the stories of others.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-family: comic sans ms, sans-serif;"><b><i>It's my turn to be the attentive and curious audience.</i></b></span></div>
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Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-61361540896811276592020-04-01T13:35:00.000-07:002020-04-24T13:36:21.377-07:00Listening and Sketching - Restorative Practices from Gabriel Kram April 1, 2020 Webinar<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMzv1MoFtuabx7wzvVSVQcVUo_AwyAShnuwPHBpBfsJDdhN8RVDo_RGBdtb4HHNe0qk-KXVBTYwilY6WDjDoom5WONWf_QxJATkQab-L2XG-gMeBIWF9j03pMmE4Pvoq-yArll70VP8w/s1600/B+04_20_2020+1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1140" data-original-width="1600" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMzv1MoFtuabx7wzvVSVQcVUo_AwyAShnuwPHBpBfsJDdhN8RVDo_RGBdtb4HHNe0qk-KXVBTYwilY6WDjDoom5WONWf_QxJATkQab-L2XG-gMeBIWF9j03pMmE4Pvoq-yArll70VP8w/s640/B+04_20_2020+1.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-79874567230375282492020-03-26T11:07:00.002-07:002020-03-26T14:02:27.322-07:00Listening to Inspiring Webinars to Stay Calm and Focused - David Rock of NLIHello everyone,<br />
During this time of Crisis, I'm listening to my own need for tips, techniques, habits, and ideas for staying calm, focused, and present.
I found this webinar interview of David Rock from the NeuroLeadership Institute very helpful for my own personal energy management, and in how I can best support my clients, friends, and family.
I hope you find this helpful, please share ideas about how you are staying grounded, present and focused during this global crisis?<br />
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Thank you so much for staying connected. With love, Tres<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4pJtXzf6USUGLfG_S39nZmXBt8JLmZtdHFJkGrRFT1HS-RuEIhVYVmIKV5pZMQwlx7l5pSnfyt53m9kchVpTtDFqjbrwhQnhyphenhyphenBlIqSiapxqah5uKw81BI1k6hGfpAf9bZ3-iVoyriKw/s1600/David+Rock+Staying+Focused+during+Corona.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1140" data-original-width="1600" height="449" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4pJtXzf6USUGLfG_S39nZmXBt8JLmZtdHFJkGrRFT1HS-RuEIhVYVmIKV5pZMQwlx7l5pSnfyt53m9kchVpTtDFqjbrwhQnhyphenhyphenBlIqSiapxqah5uKw81BI1k6hGfpAf9bZ3-iVoyriKw/s640/David+Rock+Staying+Focused+during+Corona.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-3971552137296148332020-01-16T10:26:00.002-08:002020-01-16T10:26:57.819-08:00Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours. . . . .<span style="background-color: white; color: #0c0c0c; font-family: "open sans", Arial; font-size: 17px;">Writes Dale Carnegie in </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #1e8dfc; font-family: "open sans", Arial; font-size: 17px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation; transition: color 0.18s ease 0s, background-color 0.18s ease 0s, border-color 0.18s ease 0s;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3317.Dale_Carnegie" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #1e8dfc; font-family: "open sans", Arial; font-size: 17px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation; transition: color 0.18s ease 0s, background-color 0.18s ease 0s, border-color 0.18s ease 0s;" target="_blank">How to Win Friend and Influence People</a>. </em><br />
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<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;">A very wise coach gave me this practice to work on in 2020:</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><b>Any time I feel the urge to advise or solve, ask someone to teach me something instead.</b></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYMj0aeJT7RwE7zINC0VGnweirNBQSUXt3tQJb5yB0eT94l-fsACyn9wciCzEWJifgdYhxiLGCXI6v0imrzpsDZl4oC5fl1FieBEBIIPJsMALz-fmhRdgYHh_YpvF8FRAZi8cHKJJWLQ/s1600/My+Expertise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="417" data-original-width="450" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYMj0aeJT7RwE7zINC0VGnweirNBQSUXt3tQJb5yB0eT94l-fsACyn9wciCzEWJifgdYhxiLGCXI6v0imrzpsDZl4oC5fl1FieBEBIIPJsMALz-fmhRdgYHh_YpvF8FRAZi8cHKJJWLQ/s320/My+Expertise.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I suspect this was aimed at "mansplainers",<br />but I admit to doing this too.....How often are<br />YOUR questions aimed at validating<br />your own brilliant assumptions about <br />something or someone?</td></tr>
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<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;">The first thing I noticed was that I typically ask inquiry questions that are closed (yes/no answer) and I then immediately follow this question by an educated guess of my own, here's an example:</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;">"Did you enjoy your road trip to Utah over new years? I imagine it must have been very cold, but a nice chance to get away and spend time with your family?" -<i>Why not just stop after the first question and let the person tell you how their trip was?</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;">What kind of question is that anyways? Am I trying to guess? Am I attempting to read the person's mind? Is this about controlling the conversation or making it more efficient somehow by pre-answering for them?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;">I haven't been able to make this shift on a regular basis, but I'm building awareness of this habit that I want to change.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: #0c0c0c;">I recall a favorite expression about habits, </span><span style="color: #38761d;">"practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make new habits.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0c0c0c; font-family: open sans, Arial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: open sans, Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>What are you working on in 2020 to improve communication and listening?</i></span></span>Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-33593616138835485382020-01-07T14:13:00.001-08:002020-01-07T15:12:19.235-08:00Listening to yourself. Advice from author and coach, Jerry ColonnaI recently finished Jerry's book, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/47327424-reboot" target="_blank">Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up</a> (link will take you to my personal Goodreads page, feel free to connect with me on Goodreads and share books that are inspiring for you!)<br />
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If you are considering making new year's resolutions, consider a journey into deep self-discovery. Jerry's book (very business-language and full of his own self-promotion) but really solid advice including questions you can ask yourself at the end of each chapter. <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/robdube/2020/01/02/this-top-ceo-coach-asks-the-tough-questions-that-leaders-arent-thinking-about/#2064ae9e50e6">He calls this radical self-inquiry in this short article.</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #990000; font-size: large;">Here are reflection questions to build greater self-awareness in 2020:</span><br />
<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394;"><br /></span></strong>
<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394;">Discover What Drives You - </span></strong><i style="font-family: Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394;">If you’re ready to begin practicing radical self-inquiry, then asking yourself this question is the perfect place to start:</span></i><br />
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<li><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Why are you doing what you’re doing?</span></span></li>
</ul>
<i style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, cambria, "times new roman", times, serif; font-size: 18px;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #38761d;">And a few examples of some more specifics that are also great questions to <b>share with a business or life partner:</b></span></i><br />
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<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #38761d;">How did my relationship to money get formed?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #38761d;">In what ways have I depleted myself, run myself into the ground? Why have I allowed myself to be so exhausted?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #38761d;">Who is the person I've been all my life? What can that person teach me about becoming the leader I want to be?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #38761d;">What was the story my family told about being real, being vulnerable, being true?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkF1ijM_CdX9dbCQJVpKwmbkuBGqb4j6Km7WG2qOEynonZ4-Qy_veTdNhWfOgb9WOAtf9F3MYliAi7xONARoOiudHAEraLLIogVFEEpQRm-q-85vTfYBuKPcl2QHskUqYB_tdTAaCbLw/s1600/Coyote+Hills+Park.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkF1ijM_CdX9dbCQJVpKwmbkuBGqb4j6Km7WG2qOEynonZ4-Qy_veTdNhWfOgb9WOAtf9F3MYliAi7xONARoOiudHAEraLLIogVFEEpQRm-q-85vTfYBuKPcl2QHskUqYB_tdTAaCbLw/s400/Coyote+Hills+Park.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.ebparks.org/parks/coyote_hills/" target="_blank">Beautiful reflection and meditation spot at the Coyote Hills Regional Park in Newark, CA</a></td></tr>
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Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-52034085685835918772019-12-16T10:35:00.005-08:002019-12-16T10:35:44.340-08:00Small talk. Hard to initiate? Hard to listen to? Try better questions (59 of them for starters)Anybody feeling stressed out about upcoming holiday events where networking and starting conversations with strangers makes you feel uncomfortable?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjA3XaiKpiOSL-3N8rmniMMir_CvOgg_NkvIrr5bLV0_sRmtH1-49e2gN-46wDAv5azdACMCHdn9zwSDK7YrHsJWCjkmttRi99cANzO7oN2CsTAKz_DFU0C5yQFRqq5E7-Ja3v257Iwg/s1600/IMG_1392+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjA3XaiKpiOSL-3N8rmniMMir_CvOgg_NkvIrr5bLV0_sRmtH1-49e2gN-46wDAv5azdACMCHdn9zwSDK7YrHsJWCjkmttRi99cANzO7oN2CsTAKz_DFU0C5yQFRqq5E7-Ja3v257Iwg/s320/IMG_1392+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit: <a href="https://colleendonaldsonphotography.com/" target="_blank">Colleen Donaldson</a></td></tr>
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<br />
What's your favorite go-to starter question to ask when you meet someone new????<br />
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Here's an article that caught my attention - if you see me at any upcoming parties, let's play along.<br />
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I bet we'll get to know each other better through higher quality questions and more interesting conversations!<br />
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Here are a few of my favorites:<br />
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“If you weren’t here tonight, what would you be doing on a normal Tuesday evening?”<br />
“What’s your favorite part of your work?”<br />
“What advice would you give yourself if you could rewind the clock to when you were just starting out?”<br />
“What’s the best advice you were ever given?”<br />
“What do you like to do on the weekends?”<br />
“If you could start a business today, what would it be?”<br />
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From <a href="https://medium.com/better-marketing/59-conversation-starters-to-get-the-most-out-of-networking-events-f7aca2795c83">Medium article written by Michael Thompson</a> with 59 suggestions for initiating higher quality small-talk.
Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-11517246536601013102019-12-05T18:23:00.003-08:002019-12-05T18:23:21.943-08:00Listening to me! Watch an excerpt from a workshop on Feedback<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/V4dk3H2uaJY" width="480"></iframe>Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-80246061777713178092019-11-26T12:31:00.001-08:002020-01-13T21:24:05.711-08:00How to listen when you violently disagree<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I recently had a spontaneous and deep conversation with my Lyft driver, Jose, about strategies for spending time with family and friends who have beliefs and values that differ from our own. (Politics, religion, lifestyle are three biggies that come to mind.) He expressed sadness that his family gets together but isn't close like they used to be. His own religious practice and sobriety are handled with silence. "We just don't go there;" these topics are "off limits."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #990000; font-size: large;"><i>The sacrifice and trade-off of peace-keeping harmony is less authentic connection.</i></span></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small;"><u></u><u></u></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Here are a few challenges to consider as you gather over the next few weeks. Invite people to try "going there" on topics that are usually kept off limits with a few agreements that might create more of an open climate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Consider adapting something like Don Miguel Ruiz’s 4 Agreements (I've added my own comments):<u></u><u></u></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">♡</span><span style="color: #990000;"> Be impeccable with your word. </span> </b> (watch your language, tone, and body for expressions of judgement!)<br /><b style="color: #990000;">♡ Don't take anything personally. </b>(Give yourself credit for initiating something very challenging)<br /><span style="color: #990000;"><b>♡ Don't make assumptions. </b></span>(you KNOW they happen in our minds, but consider putting them aside and asking versus assuming or name-calling/labelling)<br /><b style="color: #990000;">♡ Always do your best. </b>(Start by holding yourself <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">accountable to this disciplined behavior, hopefully you will inspire others to do the same, but if not be willing to walk away knowing that you made an effort to connect)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222; font-size: x-small;">If you engage in a topic where your perspectives and beliefs differ, notice and suspend your own judgement in service of understanding the other person not their position. Listen with true curiosity rather than a goal of being right or changing someone else's mind. Consider saying something like, " I would like to discuss our different opinions openly and with curiosity if you are willing to care-fully give it a try. Let's work to understand each other better and resist the urge to try to change each other's perspectives, or fight to be right" and "While I disagree, I admire your passion and you know I love you"<u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222; font-size: xx-small;">One last note of caution - this might work best if done early in your time together and avoid trying this if alcohol has been consumed, it just makes emotional self-control much more challenging for all parties! Sometimes though, </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">it seems easier to do the things on this humorous list (thank you Graham) than to actually engage, listen, suspend judgement, exhibit curiosity when we just want to shut the other person down or </span><u style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">disengage</u><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">......</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The goal of listening to understand is not being right, it's true connection.</span></b></span></div>
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Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-41606039274244158592019-11-19T17:51:00.001-08:002019-11-19T17:51:07.200-08:00This year I've been LISTENING to my body<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Personal share - water-falling & ankle-rolling: </i></b></span><br />
On January 12th I took a beautiful hike with my dear friend and our dogs along a trail filled with waterfalls.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhcOIj1-Mgx7p3U95praINoWrawy-AfAOVtTpT4hpSu9PLYqINQ9Zd0xtwDkv5bSqmCEJvT2dx-gEc0v4ygCm8QXhg_w82WDnCsIDadyycc1d8RlIWQ0ZjbsTv7T_L-QRBPn3w6aQP6w/s1600/Waterfalls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="596" data-original-width="988" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhcOIj1-Mgx7p3U95praINoWrawy-AfAOVtTpT4hpSu9PLYqINQ9Zd0xtwDkv5bSqmCEJvT2dx-gEc0v4ygCm8QXhg_w82WDnCsIDadyycc1d8RlIWQ0ZjbsTv7T_L-QRBPn3w6aQP6w/s320/Waterfalls.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
On the way back down, I stumbled and rolled my left ankle laterally 90% with the ankle-<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm2eP0NqNV3YRNbJ7wz8G5ePg_gjDUVxdEO_95k1yMpdg8i6DvZdzHy3m_bEm0GQ6nTTp4f_KMuYaAN_Vsg0-pXejig8-oVQ5YoGkxIKZVECd38QdBBmvag7W3giXoLv3qWMhuYt88Dw/s1600/ankle.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="360" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm2eP0NqNV3YRNbJ7wz8G5ePg_gjDUVxdEO_95k1yMpdg8i6DvZdzHy3m_bEm0GQ6nTTp4f_KMuYaAN_Vsg0-pXejig8-oVQ5YoGkxIKZVECd38QdBBmvag7W3giXoLv3qWMhuYt88Dw/s200/ankle.png" width="196" /></a>bone rolling and crushing down onto hard granite. I managed to hike the mile-and-a-half back to the car.<br />
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<i>(sprained ankle tip: keep on moving if not broken, natural pain relievers and inflammation reducers will keep you at bay until you can get to your destination or help)</i><br />
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For the next 3 months I pushed a hard pause on my trail-marathon training, and went through some rough endorphin withdrawals. I knew that this was going to be an opportunity to dig deep into my toolbox of skills to listen to my body and emotions with curiosity, self-compassion, and patience as it slowly recovered...................<br />
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<i><b>Here is a peek into my journal where I reflected on lessons from my ankle.</b></i><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAFGS1m1CLvvEsm0foWRb09feSMhysDPzSwltiIsn__t_yml6Lh1yleEZL7Kgekj6iZ5Nk877cGcxXiYaxfUYkhQXjqub2KlDEO4cm8Zr7upRfRKllp0_F-pZ23bpx4dZIioTYpD0RDg/s1600/20190304_181805.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1467" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAFGS1m1CLvvEsm0foWRb09feSMhysDPzSwltiIsn__t_yml6Lh1yleEZL7Kgekj6iZ5Nk877cGcxXiYaxfUYkhQXjqub2KlDEO4cm8Zr7upRfRKllp0_F-pZ23bpx4dZIioTYpD0RDg/s400/20190304_181805.jpg" width="366" /></a><br />
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In the past, I have been frustrated by injuries and angry at my own body. This time I chose to intentionally observe, listen, love and learn. <br />
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<b>I applied skills and tools that I offer to others</b> - <i>here's the list that kept me sane and healing:</i><br />
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<ol>
<li>Daily <b>meditation</b></li>
<li>Thinking and communicating words of <b>self-compassion</b></li>
<li>Researching <u><i>and</i></u> consistently doing rehabilitation and <b>strengthening exercises</b></li>
<li>Celebrating <b>small wins</b> during my recovery</li>
<li><b>Patience with re-building</b> my running endurance, then speed</li>
</ol>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRT1ofuOPGMvXNw_1Sb0-AgktJiFhHM3DSJr9_7nSVKKWLK42NsiYlOE2SxAcW52tSA4kvpQ8rpTG1fI21NqSCrLfTyKJZeI5p5by7HUcjx3of3RcPTAsxnDrsDde7uoIbDdmUxqvMcw/s1600/Tres+NFEC+Half+111719.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="716" data-original-width="1504" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRT1ofuOPGMvXNw_1Sb0-AgktJiFhHM3DSJr9_7nSVKKWLK42NsiYlOE2SxAcW52tSA4kvpQ8rpTG1fI21NqSCrLfTyKJZeI5p5by7HUcjx3of3RcPTAsxnDrsDde7uoIbDdmUxqvMcw/s320/Tres+NFEC+Half+111719.jpg" width="320" /></a>I'm happy to say that this past Sunday, I completed the North Face Endurance Challenge Half-Marathon, and beat my estimated finish time significantly. <br />
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This year has been hard work both physically and emotionally, and as I crossed that finish line, I had a joyous feeling of, "that was well worth the effort!"<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Thanks to all who support me through this journey of life!</b></span><br />
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Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-38135771901108490682019-11-11T14:13:00.000-08:002019-11-11T19:47:48.130-08:00How do I listen to someone who RAMBLES?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ39Om2G4euzrx8FPCjBicDV4LKbgovXJ9BYCjhZMUJzuJ90z38aBiJGMCajJR8MMJyHMzh0yS9VeVru3hn-R6rrFY_ZVqwsCl0hM6ci1_LiUal6dERPGAANxfxD5Al7wpNmvBCBTjsg/s1600/bitmoji-20191111020849.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="398" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ39Om2G4euzrx8FPCjBicDV4LKbgovXJ9BYCjhZMUJzuJ90z38aBiJGMCajJR8MMJyHMzh0yS9VeVru3hn-R6rrFY_ZVqwsCl0hM6ci1_LiUal6dERPGAANxfxD5Al7wpNmvBCBTjsg/s200/bitmoji-20191111020849.png" width="200" /></a></div>
Thanks to my amazing mom, Judy, for suggesting this topic. This is especially on-point given the holiday season coming up. Think of those various parties and family gatherings.<br />
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Sometimes we have great "conversational chemistry" with someone where the topics flow easily and turn-taking is natural because you are truly curious and interested in each other, and probably share similar values and views.<br />
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BUT....what about when our values and views and level of depth to our interest on a topic differ?<br />
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<i><b>Here are some suggestions to consider when you have that "trapped" feeling of trying to listen to someone who can't seem to pause for a breath, or give any space for a question, or turn-taking:</b></i><br />
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<b style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">R</span></b><span style="color: #660000;">eally listen with curiosity and interest if you can, it can be such a gift to listen attentively to someone who is passionate about their topic, and perhaps they rarely get the chance to share this with someone who cares (even if you can't relate or don't agree with their perspective - politics, religion, values make this much harder!) Notice your attention, if you find that you are pretending to listen this is defeating the experience for both of you. If you are truly tuning out, feeling frustrated, or just needing a change of scenery from this discussion, you may want to try need to consider some of these next suggestions.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-size: x-large;"><b>A</b></span><span style="color: #660000;">sk a closed-ended question when you have the opportunity to jump in (this will result in yes, no, or a factual answer) "Which sport will your daughter play, soccer or lacrosse?" or, "Have you made a decision what to do about this?" This can often bring the topic to a close.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-size: x-large;"><b>M</b></span><span style="color: #660000;">ake a physical gesture to interrupt politely - I often raise a hand (or two) if I really need to say something (pardon me but I need to use the rest-room, I need to check-in with my partner etc)</span><br />
<b style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">B</span></b><span style="color: #660000;">e clear with your time-limits</span><br />
<b style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">L</span></b><span style="color: #660000;">et them know that this might be more detail than you can absorb</span><br />
<b style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">E</span></b><span style="color: #660000;">ngage the speaker with compassionate feedback, especially if the rambler has trouble with turn-taking and listening to you when you are sharing</span></div>
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Any and all of these are better than rejecting, avoiding, or fake-listening to a person.<br />
Please share your ideas, stories and challenges. I admit this one is so hard for me!Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-49376492451438109342019-11-05T09:30:00.001-08:002019-11-05T09:37:48.563-08:005 Habits of Exceptionally Good Listeners from Nick WignallGreat advice from <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/the-5-habits-of-exceptionally-good-listeners-43323f212f4e"><b>Nick Wignall</b> from PSILOVEYOU website on the 5 Habits of Exceptionally Good Listeners:</a><br />
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<i>Here is his list, but please visit the link above to read the full article, it's worthwhile!</i><br />
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<b>1. Focus on the person, not the problem</b> - Most of us are problem-solvers at heart<br />
<b>2. Ask open-ended questions</b> - conversations are more than information exchange. They’re about connection.<br />
<b>3. Reflect back what you’re hearing</b> - shows them that we care and that we’re listening carefully<br />
<b>4. Validate their emotions</b> - acknowledge whatever it is they feel without shame or fear<br />
<b>5. Validate your own emotions</b> - Nothing sabotages your ability to listen faster than defensiveness<br />
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I am as encouraged by the comments on this thread as I am the outstanding writing of Nick Wignall.<br />
He also offers several sample open-ended questions and useful pro-tips.<br />
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Which habit is the one you are willing to work on this week and how?Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-32134131795799286832019-11-04T09:58:00.001-08:002019-11-04T18:59:55.986-08:00Listening and Empathy - Why "I understand" is NOT an empathic response<div dir="ltr">
Sometimes, when someone else is telling me about their situation, I cut in with a seemingly empathetic, "I totally understand" <br />
9 times out of 10, what I really feel is that I've got that person completely figured out, or I've lived through a similar experience enough that the story-telling triggers the memory of MY experience. </div>
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<b><i>Here's the problem:</i></b></div>
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The person was sharing their story and experience with me and instead of listening and asking questions that would invite the person to expand and go deeper into their story, my mind wandered to my own..<br />
Even worse is seizing a pause in the conversation to, "tell you about my similar experience" or jumping too quickly to advise, "have you tried...." The first is where I take over the conversation with my own story (NOT listening) then, a "have you tried" which is telling someone what to do (advice disguised as a question)<br />
Taking turns can be a great way to be in conversation; notice who is doing more of the talking? What more can you learn by asking one of my toolbox favorites, "what else?" and "tell me more (about)"</div>
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I've been making an effort to speak less and listen more wherever I am; social, work, even conflict. I admit that it feels STRANGE not to talk as much, and benefit is that I am learning more about the people in my life.</div>
Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-40332049945909860012019-10-26T15:13:00.000-07:002019-10-26T16:27:12.972-07:00Put it on the bike rackThis is about LISTENING for your distractions.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNxeBEh-nwhbeW_dnUKRxKC7IAtLV7erHpXoJ7uXqijkJufMR1dCUK3RkaDE3rYaIUco7qLNCPBxSAybvaQjVTczzLVpdESBgX8YJWjmSUJgjghDe6k36yCKxnQfwpj2109ct1zdbFUA/s1600/20191026_152640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1331" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNxeBEh-nwhbeW_dnUKRxKC7IAtLV7erHpXoJ7uXqijkJufMR1dCUK3RkaDE3rYaIUco7qLNCPBxSAybvaQjVTczzLVpdESBgX8YJWjmSUJgjghDe6k36yCKxnQfwpj2109ct1zdbFUA/s400/20191026_152640.jpg" title="" width="332" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bikes are hard to draw. Lots and lots of practice...</td></tr>
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Often times, one of the best practices in meetings is to have a bike rack (aka parking lot) to park anything that side-tracks you from your focus. This not only helps the conversation/project/your thoughts or work stay in the forefront of your attention, AND it enables you (and the group) to honor the side-track as a potentially meaningful topic that you can spend time thinking/discussing when it is YOUR intention rather than allowing constantly distracted thoughts or conversation topics.<br />
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During my innovation training, I learned that it's important to honor these connections that happen in the brain, it's called "in and out thinking" and part of your natural creative thinking process, don't try to shut down distractions or connections, but rather write them down because there is often great genius in these connections.<br />
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If you are one of those "constant interrupter" listeners, this will be especially helpful for you to stay focused when you are listening to others, park the random thought with a simple word or doodle, it lets you come back "in" to listening, and honors your brain's<br />
agility.<br />
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Use your bike rack, it's there for you!<br />
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<br />Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-58708576115837441142019-10-20T15:54:00.000-07:002019-10-20T16:47:08.739-07:00Listen to yourself: Explore 3 paths to building your MasterpieceThe most rewarding and creative masterpiece you can work on is YOURSELF.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgccOLotxet0U356bnCNbAiNVU2ldkoedq2jLTzuNEchY9lkbYkNfnM7HvRoKw_UxjEAK3fbTOibo5d02093-h2kTuLMSRbYOMNAtPDkxI_R0RYrXcdaNHffYKo6juW3NuDi2VPg6i_lw/s1600/ss+tres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgccOLotxet0U356bnCNbAiNVU2ldkoedq2jLTzuNEchY9lkbYkNfnM7HvRoKw_UxjEAK3fbTOibo5d02093-h2kTuLMSRbYOMNAtPDkxI_R0RYrXcdaNHffYKo6juW3NuDi2VPg6i_lw/s320/ss+tres.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">creative projects bring me joy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Keep sculpting, weaving, adding colors, kneading as you fine-tune the best possible version of yourself you can create. This is like exercise for your spirit and soul.<br />
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Here are 3 P's as paths to explore and cultivate your best possible gift to the world.<br />
<br />
<b>1. <span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; font-size: large;">PASSION</span>: Listen to yourself when you describe your very best day</b>, what were you doing? How did you feel? Why did you feel the passion on that day? This question can help you identify the activities and environment in which you can thrive and grow, also known as being in the FLOW (as I learned from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihaly_Csikszentmihalyi">Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi</a>) How can you invite more of this passion into your life where you can tap into that magical feeling of flow?<br />
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<b>2. <span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">POWER</span>: Listen to your strengths </b>to borrow from the talented and inspirational <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Buckingham">Marcus Buckingham</a>, "do you have the chance to use your strengths every day?" First of all, can you acknowledge and list your strengths? Which strengths are the ones that people come to you for support, guidance, and mentorship? Which strengths are ones that you enjoy using the most? There is such power in focusing, amplifying and using your strengths vs obsessively focusing your energy on your gaps or weaknesses. Find opportunities to share your strengths in your profile, headlines, online information, and when you are networking. The more you get to use these, the stronger and more motivated you can fuel your masterpiece.<br />
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<b>3. Listening to <span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">PURPOSE</span> </b>- Most of us these days are seeking opportunities to find greater purpose in our lives, work, and actions.<br />
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<ul>
<li> Seth Godin, "instead of looking for your purpose, live your purpose"</li>
<li>Julia Butterfly Hill, “We call it ‘finding your own true north’– like on a compass. In production-driven societies, we’re tricked into believing that true north is outside of us. So we’re constantly looking outside ourselves to figure out if this is the right job, the right house, the right relationship, the right subject to be studying. But our true north is invariably inside us …if we do what we love to do, what we’re inspired to do, what we believe in, it creates an entirely different response.”</li>
<li>"What unique gift in this universe wants to manifest itself in or through me?" <a href="https://conscious.is/15-commitments">15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership</a></li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Above all else, be open to listening to, learning from, and noticing about yourself. </div>
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Use this compassionate self-awareness to fuel the ongoing growth of your perfectly unique masterpiece.</div>
<ul>
<li>Susan Sontag, “I must change my life, so that I can live it, not wait for it.”</li>
</ul>
Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-28607535194991925762019-10-18T09:13:00.000-07:002019-11-05T12:02:59.189-08:00Responsive Listening is letting go of CONTROL says M.NicholsI just finished the book <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/828448.The_Lost_Art_of_Listening" target="_blank">The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P. Nichols</a> and while I was not crazy about his rambly writing or therapy-patient-heavy anecdotes, I did find it to be full of truths about the challenges we have in being good listeners.<br />
<br />
The core concepts in this book are solid and his activities to try at the end of each chapter are worth looking at to find practical ideas to try to shift your behavior.<br />
<br />
The title of this blog post is one of M.Nichols' comments about listening during conflict/debate/disagreement. He talks about how we tend to go back and forth to defend our position, often cutting the other person off. When we are in debate, do you try to win? Do you try to convince the other person to change their mind because of your brilliant forceful reasoning?<br />
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M.Nichols suggests that we can first listen and fully hear the person out, even when we don't agree or can't relate. This is more about conveying curiosity, genuine interest in where the other person is coming from, and it is NOT EASY! He describes this as Responsive Listening which requires relinquishing control over the outcome/conversation and staying open and curious. This requires taking a GENUINE INTEREST in the person.<br />
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The next time you are in a debate/disagreement, <a href="https://listeningforeverything.listeningforeverything.com/2019/10/questions-are-tools-that-enable-you-to.html" target="_blank">consider trying to ask more open-ended questions</a> to increase your understanding and compassion for the other person's perspective, opinion, and position. The author suggests we even wait until another day to convey OUR position....I'm not sure I would be capable of this, but I have been working on debating from a place of personal passion and conviction, without having the goal of "winning" or convincing the other person to change their mind and the result has been less elevated emotions and more personal connection, even when we vehemently disagree.<br />
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Who will you try this with? (Warning: partners, offspring and parents are extra-credit challenging for most of us! I find that casual friends or work colleagues have been where I've had better initial success)Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-30183273581154396972019-10-17T06:00:00.000-07:002019-10-20T15:55:19.502-07:00L.I.S.T.E.N...why is Listening for Everything???<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">L.I.S.T.E.N...</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Listening for Everything</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Who comes to mind when you think about a really good listener in your life?</span><br />
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</div>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This blog is dedicated to those of us who want to work to become this person, and we know that we are far from it.</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I thought about calling this "listening for narcissists" but then I didn't want to:</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpy5adrrXufjL5ZdDnHpy_gVDA9_3ahw4qfGFjroz9o8nW5_ewgXUOtyVi12rz_ZH7o3SKJzbj6R54ipfqn-26r_sq8bZorvTTDHVrislIzJ2_AAdxBEZdnDGhPwFt_RT68Lj_nj0qbg/s1600/tres+canyon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="692" data-original-width="796" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpy5adrrXufjL5ZdDnHpy_gVDA9_3ahw4qfGFjroz9o8nW5_ewgXUOtyVi12rz_ZH7o3SKJzbj6R54ipfqn-26r_sq8bZorvTTDHVrislIzJ2_AAdxBEZdnDGhPwFt_RT68Lj_nj0qbg/s200/tres+canyon.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a. admit to being a narcissist</span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">b. discourage</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> thoughtful and compassionate and empathetic people that might think that this was written for them.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">c. Miss the opportunity to reach as many humans as possible</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>I realized that listening skills were going to help EVERYONE with EVERYTHING!</b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Try this out: </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Think for a moment about something ANYTHING (death, love, parenthood, leadership, traffic, taxes, exercise, siblings.....seriously think of something.....) now, think for a moment about how an improvement in listening could improve the outcome of this thing......if you are arguing or struggling to make this connection, perhaps you are not listening.</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Early in my career as a buyer, I was presenting at a product approval meeting in front of 100 of my colleagues and leaders. My CEO challenged my ideas and strategies, and each time, I was quick with an answer. After a couple of back-and-forth challenge/solve volleys, this CEO interrupted me with, "</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Tres, </span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">L.I.S.T.E.N., I just want you to listen" I finally got it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I hope that you don't need to experience this kind of demoralizingly impactful feedback, but I hope that you find your way here (and back here) if you are willing to embark on this journey with me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am eager to bring this topic via interactive public speaking to a group near you. I haven't yet met a group, team, community, or partnership that hasn't benefitted from improved listening skills, and I am ready to do this work with you.</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">With a promise to bring energy, enthusiasm, research, and my own stories as a living witness to this work and the beautifully rewarding benefits of improving,</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Tres Jiménez</span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Facilitator, Coach, Public Speaker</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-52330847566683951932019-10-02T07:57:00.002-07:002019-11-05T11:14:46.169-08:00Questions are tools that enable you to LISTEN<i><span style="font-size: large;">One of the best tools for listening can be a collection of great open-ended questions.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdr0h8mPPHIsltn6mair3eBY6RzVw5MxlRuIjuwdggw40KxfShevmhOSSaggNaLOCZP_kYDd71F366KS3yJuN0dAmeE_nQy6_jiCFZF0PERxR7SlraSDEXS0AieWQPUmJLEmZXYIie8A/s1600/20190428_142537.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="1600" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdr0h8mPPHIsltn6mair3eBY6RzVw5MxlRuIjuwdggw40KxfShevmhOSSaggNaLOCZP_kYDd71F366KS3yJuN0dAmeE_nQy6_jiCFZF0PERxR7SlraSDEXS0AieWQPUmJLEmZXYIie8A/s400/20190428_142537.jpg" title="" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The guy on the right is a great listener <i>(when he is not lost in jacksplaining)</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Consider having a go-to question to use when you first meet someone that is a break from the typical, "how are you doing?" or "what do you do?" <br />
Designer colleague Patrick Robinson asked me, "how's your world?" and it was just enough to shift away from cliche.<br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Share your go-to in the comments!</span></i></b><br />
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Here is a sampling of questions to spark your creativity:<br />
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures; margin-bottom: 1.2rem; margin-top: 1.2rem;">
<b style="box-sizing: border-box;">Openers:</b></div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1.2rem; margin-top: 1.2rem;">
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<ul>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What brought you here?</span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #282828; line-height: inherit;">What excites you right now?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When you're not working, how do you like to spend your time?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What are you reading currently?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What’s the first concert you attended?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Where do you most hope to visit?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Where did you grow up?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's your favorite word or number (or animal) and why?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What was your first job?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's one thing you're excited about that's coming up next year?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What was the worst job you've ever had?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What was your favorite subject in school?</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What’s your little-known talent?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;">What’s the most important thing I should know about you?</span></span></span></span></li>
</ul>
<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;">Below the Surface:</b><br />
<ul style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;">
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you could spend a day in someone else’s shoes, whose would they be? Why?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's one thing your family taught you that completely changed your life?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What’s been on your mind lately?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What’s the first career you dreamed of having as a kid?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's one of your favorite memories?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's one thing about you that surprises people?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Who, or what, was your biggest teacher?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What was something you've done that made you feel extreme happiness?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What advice would you give your 18-year-old self?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you could instantly become an expert in something, what would it be?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What does success mean to you?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Where is your happy place?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What energizes you and brings you excitement?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What qualities do you value in the people with whom you spend time?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For what would you be famous?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What does your dream day look like?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What’s your guilty pleasure?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At what job would you be terrible?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you had to choose only 3 adjectives to describe yourself, which would you choose?</span></li>
</ul>
<b style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Going Deep -</span></b><br />
<ul style="color: #333333; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;">
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What is a dream you have that you’ve yet to achieve?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's something you say you'll do, but never will?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Has anything ever happened to you that you could not, and cannot, explain?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What is one thing about you that people misunderstand?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For what are you most grateful today?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you could have one 'do over' in your life, what would you do differently?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Of what are you most afraid?</span></li>
</ul>
Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-47910448719467392292019-09-21T09:57:00.001-07:002019-10-26T17:01:30.750-07:00The most important thing you can do during a tough conversation? <div dir="ltr">
Yep. You guessed it, it's LISTENING.<br />
The power and benefit of listening during a tough conversation. <br />
<b>What questions do you ask</b> that keep you focused on listening (vs being right)? <br />
One I've been using is, "what was your experience?" and "what else...?"<br />
(to train myself more than anything) </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<a href="https://lnkd.in/gPAADMc">https://lnkd.in/gPAADMc</a> </div>
Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-69235408581074803052019-09-20T17:00:00.000-07:002019-10-26T17:01:05.237-07:00How are you "listening"?<script type="text/javascript">
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Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54046749177697483.post-62207370081111588382019-09-14T17:21:00.001-07:002019-09-14T17:22:39.220-07:00Rising Appalachia - Resilient. "I close my mouth and learn to listen"<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tx17RvPMaQ8" width="480"></iframe><br />
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Rising Appalachia - Resilient. <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta;"><b>"I close my mouth and learn to listen"</b></span></span>Tres Jiménezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03190724421933634688noreply@blogger.com0